The Banana Peel Incident

Before I write this blog I was to point out that this is an anonymous blog. I have my first name in here sometimes (Rose) but no last name. I have two last names actually. I posted a half nude photo of myself (midlife crisis) as well as some photos that I may delete. A former roommate told me she was reading these blogs, as well as a former neighbor who found them and told the mothers of the children who came to my home that I was a heroin addict (not true.) Even though these blogs have been used against me, this is my anonymous electronic diary, so this blog can not be used to sue me. Fuck you Ian.

Normally this would be something I found hilarious, but with the circumstances surrounding the banana peel incident, I don't know how I feel about it yet. That's why I'm writing now, having stayed up for the second night in a row.

This is what happened:
Three weeks ago, I was walking in the woods with my cat. I do live in a city, but there are many beautiful nature spots and I chose my apartment because it is in the woods. One of my quirks is that I pick up trash that people discard in the woods. I grew up near the woods, and I love nature. There is not a whole lot behind me picking up trash and throwing it in the trash compactor or the recycle bin.

As I was passing my friend and neighbor's apartment, I saw a banana peel next to the sidewalk. I did not buy a banana. I did not premeditate this prank gone wrong. I was looking at the ground for trash and saw a small rotten banana peel. There was little thought in putting it on the sidewalk in a position that made it look as cartoon-ish as possible. I then walked to my apartment and called my friend Ian, laughing that there was a banana peel on the sidewalk, so he better be careful that he does not trip. I thought it was funny so I laughed. I call him often (well, not anymore) and I thought it would be a funny intro to a conversation. That is the premise for this letter I received two days ago. Oh, I need to point out that I know Ian from Alcoholics Anonymous because he was the person who convinced me to go. I have not had a drop of alcohol in 8 months, but I am withdrawing from Klonopin, which was prescribed to me after my house burned down in the great fire of 2008. Now the letter:

March 28, 2016

Rose,
     Please attend every meeting you can (walk there if you have to) and work the steps!!
     Neglect in working the steps and not changing people places and things has allowed your disease to become worse and even flourish. For example, consciously placing a banana peel on the sidewalk, knowing full well that someone, including someone that you claim to care about, could become injured or otherwise harmed is the work of a flourishing mental illness.
     When you told me what you had done, I went out and kicked that banana peel off the sidewalk into the dirt so no one, including myself should I forget, would hurt himself or herself. About twenty minutes later, I realized how bad the neglect of your disease had become. It had become so bad that it makes you put in effort to place people in harms way for your own giggles and/or entertainment.
     Though I am getting better physically, I am not out of the woods yet. I cannot afford, physically or financially, to slip on the sidewalk for the satisfaction of someone's disease. Accordingly, neglect of your disease has made you too dangerous for me to have any further contact, other than waving or saying "hi" in a parking lot or at a meeting. Your disease, treated with neglect, has turned you into a person that I am afraid to be around. Moreover, if you remember that I said I would help you as long as you were trying, making an effort to place people in harms way for your own giggles and/or entertainment is clear and convincing evidence that you are finished trying.
     I do believe that you are sorry and that you are hurting.  From what I have learned in meetings, it hurts because it's supposed to. Perhaps folks that have been nice to you, and that you care about, choosing to not have anything more to do with you is not so easy to dismiss as the chumps and losers that your disease typically surrounds you with.
     If you are willing to do the work and to live a life as descried, you can be happy, joyous, and free, and many, many pain-causing situation simply will not arise. Nevertheless, currently and for the foreseeable future, I cannot believe anything that you say, and I am too afraid to be around you. You do not need my "forgiveness."  If you want to make amends, please go to meetings, be honest with yourself, and work the steps. That is what I have always wanted for you and continue to do so. I hope to see you at meetings, and please don't be offended if I don't say much, if anything at all, to you.
     Feel free to keep this note around. It may serve to remind you that you have a choice to be someone loved or someone feared.

*It is also worth noting that Ian is a trained lawyer.

So that is the letter he put on my front door. I still did not read it all until I just wrote it down now. It's condescending. He is in the computer field, not the medical one. It is extremely presumptuous. Actually, I am almost completely off the Klonopin, as I have been tapered off by an addiction specialist.

I'm not laughing at this or tearing him apart because I genuinely did like Ian, and I've known him (now I realize only superficially) for over a year. My thoughts go to what else about my humor has he misinterpreted? I told him that I initially called the bail bond agency asking the man assigned to my case to describe what outfit he is wearing because I am so lonely. I actually did say that to the bail bonds man, who took it as the joke it was.

No one has laughed about this letter, which started to scare me. I can't laugh about it because I feel bad for Ian. He is so removed that he does not understand simple juvenile humor. Of all my jokes in all my blogs, except that damn blog about Ron Launius (which I initially tried to erase, but I felt that way then) I am joking. I can understand that jokes are not always funny, but it's the best way to communicate with someone. There is a quote by Plato which is: You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation.