A Quote

This is the last monologue from the movie, "No Country For Old Men".
It's the telling of a dream a man has for his father, who has died:

"The second one, it was like we was both back in older
times and I was on horseback goin' through the
mountains of a night. Goin' through this pass in the
mountains. It was cold and there was snow on the
ground and he rode past me and kept on goin'. Never
said nothin' goin' by. He just rode on past... and he
had his blanket wrapped around him and his head down
and when he rode past I seen he was carryin' fire in a
horn the way people used to do and I could see the
horn from the light inside of it. 'Bout the color of
the moon. And in the dream I knew that he was goin' on
ahead and he was fixin' to make a fire somewhere out
there in all that dark and all that cold, and I knew
that whenever I got there he would be there.  And then
I woke up."

Now there is nothing in my brain that
allows for a belief in an afterlife.
But usually the death of Ambrose and the death of Katlor
would make me want to join them.
But I thought came to me yesterday.
Ambrose was dying
two years before his death;
yet before then he overflowed
with life.  In Katlor's last two years
she could not chase grasshoppers
and attack cardboard boxes.  I was frail in
my early twenties, doing petty
things whenever there was worry of loss.

Now that they are gone I feel they are giving me
their energy, which in the old days would be backwards:
I'd hear I lost my brother and my cat
and I'd want to join them.
But neither of them will allow me to do that.
They keep pushing me forward, because it's
a terrible injustice that they
lost their strength (Ambrose too young, it's
injustice).
They both gave me the life they lost,
and now I live for them.  Maybe one day
things will not be so unfair and I can
see them again, and ask questions
and we will be children together again.