Friday, March 2, 2012

Funny Bible Quotes

All my life I've carried myself with an intrinsically loving, curious and tolerant stance regarding other people's belief systems and lifestyle. I am peaceful, but when a person aggressively judges me or suppresses my freedom by ramming their Gods down my throat,
(what I call critical thinking for an authentic identity)
I will fight for independence. Religion is poison. I've seen it brainwash people I love. Thank you to my brother for the text.

Here are ten examples where biblical morality/ethics differs from my views:

  1. Matthew 25:31-46

    This passage describes the judgement of the righteous and the unrighteous. It describes how the unrighteous will be condemned forever to eternal fire (Mt 25:41, 46) for the lack of compassion they displayed during their lives. This is my biggest complaint with Christianity—that people are given an infinite punishment for a finite amount of wrongdoing.

  1. Matthew 15:21-28

    This passage describes the interaction between Jesus and a Canaanite woman. You can clearly see the discrimination that Jesus displays toward the woman because she is not a Jew.

  1. Numbers 25:1-18

    This passage describes how God commands Moses to kill people who had worshipped a foreign god. It then goes on to describe how Phinehas, the son of Aaron (Moses’ brother and a priest), drove a spear through an Israelite man and into a Midianite woman. For this God commends Phinehas, and makes a covenant that Phinehas’ descendents will have a lasting priesthood. God then commands the Israelites to kill the Midianites because they were deceiving them with false gods. I think any modern, rational person would find this passage morally deficient. I find it particularly odious because of the lack of proportion—death for consensual sex and participation in foreign worship.

  1. Psalms 137:1-9 (Psalms 136:1-9 Douay-Riems Version)

    This passage is a lament for Jerusalem by someone in exile in Babylon. Notable is verse 9, “Happy are those who seize your infants and dash them against the rocks.” (New International Version). Even if this sentiment is in response to a similar action by the Babylonians during the siege of Jerusalem, it is inappropriate. Why should innocent children be punished for the crimes of their parents? An in any case, it is inappropriate to take pleasure in the execution of the punishment, even if it is deserved.

  1. Deuteronomy 20:10-20

    This passage describes how the Israelites are to conduct sieges against other cities. My reading of it is that if it is a distant city, they first make a peace offer. If the city accepts, the inhabitants of the city become the slaves of Israel. If they refuse, the Israelites attack the city and kill all of the men. The women, children, livestock and other items they can keep as plunder. If the city is a nearby city, then no peace offer is made. When the city is taken, everything in the city—men, women, children, and livestock—is killed. The fruit trees, are spared, though.

  1. Numbers 15:32-36

    This passage describes how God commands the Israelites to stone to death a man found gathering sticks on the sabbath.

  1. Luke 9:59-62

    In this passage Jesus commands a man to follow him. The man says, “Lord, first let me go and bury my father.” Jesus replies, “Let the dead bury their own dead, but you go and proclaim the kingdom of God." I think Jesus’ response is callous. The request is reasonable, but Jesus denies it. Jesus tells another guy that he is unfit for service in the kingdom of God because he wants to go say goodbye to his family.

  1. Luke 14:25-26

    Jesus says that we must hate everyone close to us if we want to be his disciple.

  1. Acts 5:1-11

    This passage describes how a christian man and his wife sold some property and gave some of the money to the church. The thing is, they both lied and said they had given all of the proceeds of the sale of the land to the church, when in reality they had kept some of the money for themselves. For this, they both died (or were killed).

  1. Numbers 31:13-18

    In this passage, the Israelites have just finished a battle against the Midianites. Moses is angry with the officers of the army because they didn’t kill the women. He commands them to kill all of the boys, and all of the non-virgin women. He allows them to keep the virgins for themselves, though.

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