The World has Gone Bananas (breaking report)

Okay, I don't know much about Billy Ray Cyrus except a few things:
1.) He has, or had, a mullet that looked like a animal died on his head
-Side Note: I was convinced for a while that the "Billy Ray Cyrus" mullet was a sign of insanity. Well the jury is still out. However people in the mid-west can hold prominent positions of authority looking like him. I know, I lived there.
2.) He went on a country music award show and yelled some insult to his rival Travis Trit. He said, "For those of you that don't like my music....Travis Trit...here is a quarter! Now call someone who cares!"
3.) I nearly peed my pants when he said that. People with mullets like that that take themselves seriously make me want to pee.
4.) When I was in late middle school to early high school my siblings used to watch, "Animanacs"- and there was a skit where Pinky and the Brain try to take over the world by playing, "Don't tell my head, my empty hollow head, I just don't think it would understand" all over the world to make people stupid and/or crazy so they could rule the world.

That's my knowledge of Billy Ray Cyrus. So when I saw on the front cover of Yahoo News: "Is Billy Ray Cyrus a good father or not? Details inside." I just flipped my fucking wig. This is the world news. The world Internet news that informs us what's up around the world when we sit at our computer to coffee and a new day. There are civil wars in many countries in Africa, AIDS, that mess in the Guantanamo Bay Concentration Camp, ghettos, murders, etc (you get my point), and they choose to pop a question about: Fucking Mullet Man being a good father? I don't give a fuck! I don't care about his dumb life, the slow moving electric pong game going on in that guys head, the inevitable fight he got into with his barber years before he became famous for looking like an asshole, or about his parenting skills. What the fuck is going on with the world? What the media chooses to tell us is seriously in question when the king of all inexcusable hair styles (if one can call it that) makes the front page of the news. I am certain that this is the first sign of the coming Apocalypse.