My homework: How to Be Ambitious

Bored around the house today at 29 years old and no responsibilities. So I told my boyfriend I'd write a blog siting all the reasons I love the man (ex: stayed by me even when I was on drugs, knows when I'm happy and that makes him happy) but he gave me a different assignment. Write about how to be ambitious. Ok.

Of course I'm going to redefine ambition (lets call this "what motivates me") and go from there. What am I going to do with my time?

The answer could be something like this: I overheard a woman bartender, from the most spectacular restaurant overlooking the Pacific Ocean in Trinidad, talking about the 10K marathon she just ran. I can image this woman's perfect life: beautiful, socially graceful, long brunette hair, serving wine in style while getting to watch the sun set over the ocean every night. And by day she is living with the strength to run into shape for a 10K marathon. That's a person with life in their bones.

Lets see...I could do a marathon, take up vegan cooking, join a volunteer service, garden my heart out, poems and more poems, read those heavy Russian books people always talk about, learn to do a back flip, study random women's posture at the grocery store, play chess, youtube Cat Stevens less then ten times (a day) and use that time to walk down the street, take deep breaths and praise the air. How will this make me money?

Now that I have been given a medication that forces me to not drink even a drop of demon alcohol, plus an anti-smoking drug, I have more tools. I'm at the bottom but at least I stopped what I blame for pulling me down. Now where can I go? What have I been missing?

For money I can't see writing as an answer. And there are miles to go before any teaching credential. Miles to go so I'll start by blogging the start of a healthier me, and you can watch me like a lab rat do the transition from bad brain chemicals to rise into heaven. My first ambitious act will be to consciously smile more. Then I'll go out the door more. From there the world is undiscovered with my new healthy mind and Magellan is ready to explore a more positive reality. I'm trying. How this will make me money, I don't know. But there is a place for me in this world, and I'm trying to fit in with some value while picking up wisdom along the way. Trying not to break. I'm trying.